Giving In
by Ashna
Summary: Something happened when Yamato and Jyou were alone together at the diner. (Yaoi and not nice stuff)
1. Holding back...

This fic idea was created at my nineteenth birthday party. I drank about twenty cans of pop didn't eat anything but cookies and two small slices of pizza AND didn't sleep. This is what came of it. Oh course this is the revised version with more thought behind it but yeah. Ask me why I did this and I wont be able to tell you. Okay maybe I can.

One= I like taking previously normal characters and twisting them around. I try to make it believable too.

Two= My mind works in strange ways even I don't understand but I love angst and always have.

Three= To anoy Kathrine who loves those normal characters to pieces whom I cut down so readily.

Four= Yaoi fanfiction is my fangirl obsessive Goddess and I shall do whatever she tells me to.

There are my reasons. The last one I can use to get me out of trouble! She made me do it I had no choice! Or I could say this. What do you expect from a girl who's fav anime is Revolutionary Girl Utena? My fav for all the right reasons. I'm gonna stop rambling now and start the fic all ready.  
  
This fic is dedicated to Miyama who's firmly latched onto the idea that Jyou is a closet freak! I'm redoing this for you! 

Disclaimer: I don't own them but Goddess what I could do with them if I did!*Drools*

PS I hate the digimon so I never write them in. I like the characters not them. Pokemon are better at least they don't talk in blah blah blah rant rant rant...

  
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Jyou stared out from the door of the dinner his heart heavey with all the things he wanted to say or do. He never could of course. He wasn't eloquint enough. He tripped over words and babbled like an idoit never stopping until someone told him to shut-up.

*Your a babbling idiot Jyou that's what you are. A paranoid babbling fool who no intellegent person would ever concider being with.*

Especially not someone with style. Jyou's own clumsy gangly body and geek type clothes disgusted him at times. But there was nothing you can do to change how you grow or how clothes of any type look on you. It depressed him to no end.

A lilting melody from the cliff edge caught Jyou's attention and silenced his thoughts for a few precious moments before fadding away on the brease. He sighed and sat down on the step resting his head on his hands.   
*No one with style, class and a artistic side. Certainly not someone beautiful.*

Compared to the person foremost on Jyou's mind he himself felt more than just the ugly duckling. He would never have him anyway. Even if Jyou suddenly metamorphised into the handsomest guy on earth He was all ready taken.

Jyou thought back to the day he'd seen them. It had been a cloudy afternoon like this one. The cloud hung low in the sky, humidity rising making the air thick and hazy. He'd gotten tired of sitting bay the fire while a pot of something boiled slowly. He got up leaving Mimi and a sleepy Takeru behind and went walking. The others had all left to do something else a while ago. He'd wandered around aimlessly. 

He passed a grove of willow trees when he'd heard laughter within. Walking towards the tree's Jyou had gone to see who it was. The willow trees covered every inch except for a small secluded clearing. It was quite the romantic spot if he remembered correctly. He'd paused though still beneath the tree branches as he saw Taichi their so called fearless leader lean over a long limbed blonde lying in the grass. One pale arm had risen the gloved hand running itself through Taichi's crazy hair pulling the smaller boy's face to his own.

Shock had revebarated though ever one of Jyou's bones as he watched the two boys kiss passiontly. He'd never suspected this from either of them. Infact he'd been afraid of the two killing each other before long.

*I thought they were so different. That they'd never get along. How wrong was I?*

He thought bitterly looking up from the steps he sat on to the low hanging clouds above. Huge fat drops were falling slowly to the ground and soon it would be raining heavily. Jyou looked out to were a figure in green, topped with impossibly blonde hair sat oblivious to the rain as he played his music. Sighing Jyou reached behind him and grabbed a large umbrella from a basket and got up walking towards Yamato.

*Strange how whenever it doesn't matter if we have these things we do. Then when we need them their not there.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yamato

He sat at the edge of the cliff legs hanging over staring down at the swan boat below. His brother needed him but cloud last. Right now Jyou was in more need of a protector them Takeru. The threat to his friends safety was real and Yamato didn't feel like testing the validity of the warning.

The comforting feel of his harmonica against his lips drew his thoughts away from his current problems but the music only drew him to another. One problem he had no clue how to fix. He felt completely alone and isolated. There was no bubbling suply of energy and support from Taichi. Oh sure they fought like a cat and dog sometimes but that hardly mattered when they were alone. Away from the digimon, away from the others they found a type of peace a contentedness just being with each other. The loving look in Taichi's large brown eyes had always calmed him down. Now he was gone. He'd tried to save Sora and stop that stupid monkey from killing them all and had been taken away from them in the process.

The group had fallen apart without a leader. Yamato could have filled thoughs shoes but he was in no shape to lead. He'd been heart broken and devestated when Taichi and his digimon had disappeared in the vortex.

Yamato sighed letting the music wrap around him and carry away all his feelings. The painful, lonely and helpless feeling turned from him into music and drifted away on the wind. He didn't even notice when it started to rain fat heavey drops from the sky. A voice nervous voice that cracked with the onset of puberty sounded from above him. It's discourdant sound clashed against the music and Yamato snapped out of his self induced musical trance and blinked up at the interlooper.

Jyou...

His mind fumbled around reality and snapped back into place. He was soaked to the bone and chilled. The rain had permiated into every inch of his clothes in the few short momments it had fallen. Jyou was standing above him holding a large black umbrella they both fit under. He was smiling nervously at Yamato unsure of how to act. Jyou always was nervous around him though Yamato couldn't fathom why. He was just another kid like Jyou.

*Well maybe not quite like Jyou I'm much cooler than he is but we're still both kids. Though he's shooting up like a bean stalk now. He's grown even in the time we're been here.*

"I'm sorry Jyou did you say something? I wasn't really with it." He said politely.

"Oh I was just saying that, well it started to rain and you, I figured you'd get soaked, so I grabbed an umbrella, you'll get sick sitting out here in the rain, i hope you don't mnd, I was worried ya know, so I just came out, are you going to come back in, I hope I'm not intruding.." Jyou babbled stupidly forcing Yamato to try and control his temper.

The older boy would always get on his nerves. He never shut up. It would have been suficient to say ' It started raining and I was worried you'd get sick so I brought an umbrella.' No Jyou had to babble on for hours on end about nothing.

*This guy should give up trying to be a docter and start up on the infomercail buisness. They always need people to talk endlessly until your board to tears.*

He sighed and looked out across the water as the rain fell and wished not for the first time that he had some talent in painting. The smudge of rain against the grey crystal of the lake and the fetureless slate of the sky would have made quite the nice water color.

*If a bit dark and dreary.*

"Thank you Jyou for the thought. I don't mind getting wet though." Yamato said as Jyou finally ran out of steam.

Jyou nodded and stood there acwardly. He didn't whether to stay of leave. He shifted the weight on his feet and looked out to where Yamatto gazed. He turned back not impressed then spoke.

"You mind if I stick around out here with you? I know you like being alone most of the time and I know.."

Yamato cut him off quickly before another long speech ensued.

"No it's all right Jyou. I don't mind. I just come out to play my harmonica and I'm not much of a conversationalist. So sit I don't mind."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jyou was surprised that Yamato was being so nice to him. Even though the blonde digidestined was the keeper of friendship. He sat down quickly and ungracefully before he could change his mind. Yamato didn't say anything just stared out across the water mornfully. Jyou knew Yamato wanted to leave and go find his brother but didn't understand why he didn't go.

He snuck a side ways glance at Yamato. His spiky blonde hair was plastered to his head but still managed to look cool.(Of course). He'd brought up one leg from the edge of the cliff and had wrapped one arm around it. Even with someone right beside him he looked remote and lonely.

*I guess I'd be lonely too if someone I cared about suddenly disappeared into no where.*

Jyou looked away and tried to think of something to say that would cheer up the blonde bishounen. He was so hard to talk to though. He could never read him right anyway.

*He probably wants me to go away and leave him alone. He never talks to anyone but Takeru and Taichi anyway.*

He shifted around trying to find a comfortable position on the hard ground. It was soaking wet and he probably all ready had a large wet stain on his behind. Every little detail of his apearance always made him nervous and now he didn't want to stand up.

*I probably look rediculous.*

He thought digectedly. He sighed and Yamato glanced at him before looking back out to the water. It was hard not to talk he found. His mind was always working looking at things and worrying. Around others he thought out loud. But now he sat silently not wanting to anoy Yamato and his thoughs turned...well a little to the hentai side. He really couldn't help it. At least if he was daydreaming he wasn't tempted to babble on like an idiot.

His daydreams all had Yamato in them. Well Him and Yamato that is. He sometimes wondered if he knew a bit too much about that kinda thing for a kid who wasn't even thirteen yet but then he was studying to be a doctor. He could see evey single detail. Of course none of these things would ever happen. For one thing Yamato was too together, cool and confident to ever go for Jyou's type. Secondly he'd all ready found someone. Someone atractive, brave and confident. The complete opposite of himself. Jyou sighed and stood up. 

"I'm going in. It's getting late." Jyou said handing the umbrella to Yamato and running through the rain to the dinner.

He shook his head to get out the raindrops and paused in the door way as he heard the sound of a harmonica rise and fade away on a slight brease.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Days later. Ah the ever convient time lapse how I love it. Solves just about every plot problem there is. Well not every problem but many. A few..okay like two but it's still fun!

It had been around two weeks since Yamato had showed up at the diner. Every day he'd become moodier, yelling at Jyou when he'd spill something or talk too much. Jyou tried hard not to spill anything but it was hard. He'd never been in the kitchen to do anything but steal an extra cookie for lunch or something equaly harmless.

They were now farther apart as friends then any at any other time in the digiworld. This fact depressed Jyou to no end. Even now Yamato was out by the cliff playing his stupid harmonica. The thing was anoying with it wailing on and on day and night. He used to like it but now he knew something. Yamato played the harmonica to whatever he was feeling. That would be sad, lonely and depressed. He didn't seem to feel much else and Jyou knew why. He missed Taichi.

Of course Jyou had nothing against Taichi personally. He was an okay guy with the normal amount of childish enthusiasm and hyper activity asosiated with most preteen boys. No it was the fact that he was a Jock the type of people Jyou had always tried to avoid. That and he was a block between him and Yamato. It was hard to remind himself that even if Yamato hadn't liked someone else he didn't stand a chance.

*You don't stand a chance Jyou. You can't even compare to someone like Taichi so just give it up.*

It never worked telling himself that. He didn't want to hear it or exknowledge the futitlity of his own thoughts. Yamato was foremost on his mind these days. The tall, lanky blue eye'd loner of the digidestined.

Yamato was even now seated at the edge of the cliff playing his harmonica the sound grateing against Jyou's ears. He'd been out there playing for almost three hours now since the dinner closed.

*Why does he sit out there all the time it's weird.*

Jyou thought becoming iratated. He'd been doing that lately too. Becoming angry and off temper. He never got angry though or off temper so Jyou didn't know why he was. He kept it hidden though acting was goofy as always and never second guessing it.  
He was getting mad at Yamato now. While Jyou had been a kinda loner back home he'd never deliberatly isolated himself, others had made that decision for him.

*I don't get him at all. Sure he's hot and I would love to give him a try but not stick around him for longer then that would take. I'm not surprised Taichi and him fight all the time.*

Jyou started out of his grumblings when the sad lilting voice of the harmonica died a heavey silence filling the air instead but Yamato didn't move. He hung his head and Jyou could swear his shoulders where shaking.

*What's wrong with him?*

~~~~~~~Yama-sama Yama-sama Yama-sama

Yamato was once again sitting at the edge of the cliff playing his harmonica in an attempt to ease the ace in his heart. Today it wasn't working so well. In fact in the last few days his normally chipper attitude had been replaced by gloom and a short temper.

*Chipper my ass. Face it Yamato your a constant source of doom and gloom. Worse then Jyou's constant worrying.*

He tried to make the music carry away his thoughts and feelings but the harmonica wouldn't copoerate. In fact he was feeling steadily worse. The ace of losing Taichi and not knowing how Takeru was dong grew with each drawn out note. He stared at the waters lapping slowly at the shore line below trying to forget. There was nothing he could do for either of them right now so he might as well not worry.

It didn't work. He let the harmonica slide out of his fingers and sat there trying not to cry, shoulders shaking. It wouldn't do either of them any good for him to cry. It didn't change anything. It change how alone he felt. Taichi had always known when the blonde had been upset or lonely and had always been there for him.

He choked back the tears as he heard someone, most likely Jyou come up behind him. He didn't need the others to know how he was feeling right now. He heard movement and soon saw Jyou's rediculus socks apear beside him on the cliff.

"Hey Yamato what's wrong?" He asked quietly.

Yamato just shook his head hoping Jyou would catch a clue and leave. No such luck. The other boy sat there with him and tried to get Yamato to open up.

"I'm not stupid Yamato I know somethings bugging you why not just tell me? It might help a little." The blue haired boy said.

"Just go away would you Jyou? I don't feel like talking to You okay?" He answered in as rude a tone as he could.

He could feel the difference in Jyou as he took offence at his words. He stood up and muttered under his breath about something and walked away. Yamato sighed in relief as a few tears managed to free themselves from his eyes as Jyou left. He didn't let himself cry though. He continued to sit there holding back his emotions as well as he could.

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Okay that was the first part. Just sums up the situation and emotions of Jyou and Yamato. Soon, soon things shall become worse. Much worse. Perfect for angsty situation. And my second attachment fic that solves the problems encountered here. But I'm getting ahead of my self here arn't I? Next part will be up soon. I think.


	2. Memories

Whoa!! I'd forgotten I was reposting this fic along with my others!!! Chapter one's been up for ages!! Eek!! Gomen to those reading it!!! . I wrote this March 1st exactly. My birthday... Wel I stayed up all night writeing it. Root beer makes me hyper if I drink like 6 cans along with seven up, coke and dr.pepper... Heehee. My first fic idea EVER!!! It's a twisted idea too. See! I've always been weird and perverted!!! Go ME!!!

  
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Jyou sighed as he reached the relative sanctuary of the dinner. He hadn't wanted to do that. Nor had he wanted Yamato to react that way. It was his own clumsy ways and how repulsive he was. Why would Yamato confide in him anyway. Not went he'd had Taichi the oh so wonderful leader of the digidestined. He was handsome, together and everyone liked him even when he was being an ass hole. 

*It just isn't fair. People like him get everything..*

He kicked the door frame and looked out once more to the slim figure sitting by the cliff. There was something almost delicate about this scene before him. Yamato looked ready to blow away on the wind. Jyou was sure that if Taichi had been trying to comfort him, he would have responded. He wouldn't have turned away like he had from Jyou.

The blue haired boy found himself getting angry at Yamato for being so isolated from everyone else including Jyou. 

*Don't the rest of us, don't I deserve some attention? Just because he doesn't want to talk to anybody doesn't mean we don't! And he's the only other person here to talk to!*

A/N I repeat in my fics the digimon have no place! Their there but have no part in the happenings okay? Okay.

And then a selfish , petty side began to show itself in Jyou's thoughts. He was so wrapped up in his own hurt and loneliness he began to think of doing something he shouldn't. Not that he hadn't dreamed of doing this before but... It was part desperation for some form of contact and wanting something he knew he'd never have. Then never being one to hide what he felt or not do something he wanted to Jyou walked back towards the emotional Yamato leaving behind his old self.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Heehee evil me..anyway Yamato's point of view from here on.

Yamato was still teetering on the edge of tears when Jyou sat down beside him once again. To say the least he was annoyed.

*Why wont he just go away. Agh I can barely stand him as is. Go away Jyou. Read thoughts go away and leave me alone...*

"Go away Jyou." Yamato voiced out loud knowing Jyou couldn't read body language to save his life.

He didn't move in fact he just stared at him. This was weird. As long as Yamato had known Jyou the older boy hadn't been able to maintain eye contact with anyone for more then a few seconds and he never initiated any sort of conflict. Yamato decided to ignore him and continue to look away.

"No..for once I am not going to back away from something..." Jyou muttered making Yamato wonder what the hell he was talking about.

* I don't need this right now...Not when I feel so..alone. I don't need stupid incompetent Jyou trying to patch things up.*

But he didn't leave nor did he begin talking trying to cheer the blonde up, instead.... Instead to Yamato's complete and utter shock he moved closer and reached out to place one hand on his cheek. He pulled Yamato's head around and kissed him. Not some little kiss on the cheek but full on the lips.

Yamato was still to grief muddled and depressed to react much as Jyou slid his tongue across his lips before pressing to gain entry. Jyou's other arm snaked around Yamato's waist pulling him closer. His tongue darted in and out of Yamato's mouth while his mind reeled in shock.

*Oh my God. I can't believe..Jyou is kissing me...and I'm letting him! Taichi....*

Even though he felt horribly guilty Yamato suddenly found himself responding to Jyou's not so subtle advances. One hand held onto the arm around his waist the other grabbed Jyou's shirt pulling him closer. He kissed Jyou back massaging his tongue with his own. The blue haired boy moaned deep in his throat and held tighter to Yamato. He pushed Yamato onto his back and leaned in over him. He began to trail small kisses down Yamato's jaw line and pulling down the neck of his shirt, along his throat pausing to suck at the sensitive skin making Yamato moan quietly.

*What am I doing? I can't do this... I can't betray Taichi like this.... But Gods I've been so lonely..*

But things had gone too far for Yamato to stop them now. Jyou had now slipped a hand underneath his green turtle neck and caressed his chest gently. Yamato closed his eyes and ignored the nagging little voice of reason and kissed Jyou again as the boys lips once again sought his.

*I'm sorry Tai...*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heehee no fun yet kiddies. Lets move ahead in time shall we?

Yamato stared out at the water watching the clouds pass across the water surface reflected perfectly. It was a beautiful day but Yamato didn't see it. He was guilt ridden and ashamed of what he'd done. He loved Taichi more then anyone else in the world. Even Takeru didn't hold quite so special a place in his heart. The brown haired boy had managed to draw him out of his isolation, had befriended him then became so much more. He'd always listened never questioned and had never judged Yamato for anything he was told.

*Then I go and betray him like this. I am a complete baka. Why did I let That happen? With Jyou of all people?*

The worst thing about it all was Jyou had changed somehow. He was still clutzy and impossible to talk to but for that brief time he'd been out right demanding. He'd barely ask for something before taking it. All his uncertainty and hesitation had completely disappeared. It scared Yamato. All the next day he'd seen Jyou giving him little looks. His eyes had been hungry.

*True we didn't do much...no more then me and Taichi did but..*

Yamato knew the older boy wanted more. He wasn't prepared to give more. All in all he didn't even have much of an idea What Jyou wanted. He obviously didn't care for him like Taichi did. Their encounters had always been easy not forced...like the first time.

~~~~~~~~Flash back music cue now!

He'd been playing his harmonica again just far enough away from the group that he wouldn't bug them, close enough that Takeru still knew he was there. 

He sat there playing out his heart as always. The anger he still felt over his parents divorce, the pain of being separated from his parents and the loneliness he felt every moment of every day.

A sound from behind him startled him and he stopped playing. He lowered the harmonica from his lips and turned around. It was the wild haired 'leader' of the digidestined. He smiled slightly though not the great big grin he normally sported.

"Hey Yamato, I heard you playing and......well wondered if I could stick around?" he said hesitantly.

Yamato just looked at him coldly. He didn't Want any company especially not this kid. But while Taichi looked away from his cold gaze he kept talking.

" The rest are being kinda loud and I was...well I wanted to sit somewhere quiet but not alone ya know? I wont say anything." Taichi asked looking back at Yamato with older eyes then he normally seemed to have.

He nodded once surprised at himself and turned away from his brown eyes. He lifted the harmonica to his lips while Taichi sat down beside him with an ungraceful thump. True to his word he didn't speak. Didn't even fidget like most boys his age would with nothing to do but sit.

*I guess he's not such a block head after all.*

Yamato thought managing to forget his troubles as he thought about the enigma at his side. Taichi was turning into a bit of a mystery. Energetic and completely gungho he seemed the perfect candidate for leadership. Then at other times he showed for brief flashes a more sensitive side.

He puzzled over this letting the music carry his thoughts. Eventually he turned towards more depressing issues once again. His problems never left him for long. The music as always reflected his mind to anyone sensitive enough to understand. He thought none of the digidestined would understand nor care.

Sighing he stopped playing as the air began to chill his fingers, goose bumps appearing on his bare arms. It was time to go back to camp and sleep.

"Why do you always play sad music?" Taichi asked quietly.

Yamato turned to look at him as if to question his asking. Taichi gazed back blankly just waiting for an answer. The blonde shrugged his shoulders and looked at the harmonica's faint silver sheen in his hands.

"I play what I feel." As his short answer.

"Oh." Taichi said.

"Does playing help?"

That startled him. It was something he did not expect from the boy. That and he sounded as if he truly did understand. To his surprise Yamato found himself answering with something other then to tell the other kid to buzz off.

"Sometimes, not always." he said quietly.

A gloved hand suddenly appeared and placed itself on his own. He looked up surprised into a pair of very soft brown eyes. Strange before that point he hadn't noticed how very gentle those eyes were behind the electric energy they normally housed.

"What would help? All the time and always." Taichi asked looking deep into his eyes.

"I....don't know..." Yamato had said and did something he hadn't planned on that surprised them both.

He'd leaned forward and gently kissed Taichi on the cheek. He drew back quickly surprised at himself and terrified that Taichi was going to freak out. But he'd forgotten that when Taichi had leaned forward himself to kiss him back.

After a few moments they'd both backed up. Neither of them looked completely unsurprised. In fact they both looked like they'd been knocked in the back of the head with a board. 

Yamato stood up quickly scared of being this close to anyone. He didn't want nor need to open up. The last time he'd done that they'd been ripped away from him.

Taichi had other idea's. He reached out and grabbed his hand pulling the blonde back.

"Don't...." Yamato asked unsure of what he was talking about.

"No I wont. I wont leave." Taichi had said completely oblivious to what those words meant to him.

"Promise?" Yamato had whispered surprising himself for at least the fourth time that night.

Taichi had nodded and leaned forward once more and this time they kissed together. Their arms had wrapped around each other. Yamato holding on to this new place growing in his heart refusing to let it go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End flash back end chapter.

Tada! What cha think? That flash back came outa no where. Solves the problem of how they got together for the second fic ne? Yeah. So please R&R and there will be one more chapter and an epilogue. Yeah that sounds right. Anyhoo time to do REAL work! As in writing and...shudder..math. Ugh who needs order in this world! I say kill off math and..wait...computers ARE basicly math right? Ahhh shoot. Never mind...just wish I didn't have to use it.  
R&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&RR&R 


	3. Giving in

Boy it's taken me a while to get to this point!!!!This is the last chapter and one thing is gonna happen and yeah. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get here! For a plot line revaltivly simplistic you'd think I coulda finished this sooner. This is gonna be shortish cuz..well you'll see. Anyhoo here it is chapter three.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yamato shivered as Jyou ran a hand lightly down his back. His lips were once again pressed against his hotly every movement demanding. Jyou was sitting cross legged with the slightly shaking Yamato in his lap. One arm wrapped posesivly about the blondes waist. Yamato rested his hands lightly on Jyou's shoulders more for support and a place to put them then to draw them closer.

This had been a typical scene for the last few days. Once Yamato was done his work for the day Jyou would track him down and begin kissing him and touching him.

Each day he became more forward and daring. He'd started going farther then Taichi had ever dared. Even now he'd started pushing the limits to see how far Yamato would allow him to continue.

Yamato's shirt was on the ground while Jyou's hand roamed across his skin. The arm around his waist kept him from pulling back while Jyou placed warm kisses along his neck and collar bone. Yamato squirmed a bit as Jyou rubbed his fingers against one of his nipples, pinching at the sensitive flesh.

Jyou titled his head up once again claimed Yamato's mouth with his own. He trailed his hand across to his side and ran lightly down to his thigh. He started tugging Yamato's leg around until he was sitting with a leg on either side of Jyou's waist.

Yamato gasped and tried to pull back, in this position he could feel Jyou's arousal against hips. While it did feel good he did not want to be like this any more.

But Jyou wouldn't let him stand up. He pulled Yamato closer with the arm about his waist and smiled up at the blonde when he gasped again.

"What? I thought you'd like sitting like this better." He said gently using his free arm to trace Yamato's jaw then grabbing the back of his neck pulling him dow for another kiss.

He wouldn't have it. Yamato quickly pushed the blue haired boy away and stood up s quickly as he could. He stood there breathing heavily for a moment then grabbed his shirt and began to walk away.

Jyou stared after him for a while a look of frustrated tension on his face but then stood up and quickly caught up with the blonde.

Yamato froze as he felt Jyou come up behind him and wrap his skinny arms around him.

"Oh come on Yamato."He said slowly as Yamato just stood there looking at the ground.

"Stop being such a prude. I know you liked it." He said as he began to kiss Yamato's neck gently.

*I can't do this anymore.....I can't do this to Taichi...*

Yamato's mind thought franticly as he once again tried to move away from Jyou. He'd started this because he'd been lonely and had hoped to forget. But he still felt lonely and now ashamed. If he ever saw Taichi again he wasn't sure if he could look him in the eye anymore.

Jyou seemed to sense how Yamato was feeling because instead of just letting him go as he had on other occasions. This time he made a low sound in the back of his throat and simply pulled Yamato closer.

"Don't lie to yourself Ishida." He said in an angry tone.

Yamato was slightly shocked. While he'd leaned that there was more to Jyou then the hesitation and fretfulness he didn't expect this. 

Then he gasped and shuddered going limp against Jyou's slender frame as a heady dose of sensation shivered through his body. The older boy had quickly reached down into Yamato's pants to curve slender fingers around him.

"This tells me you do want this Ishida." Jyou whispered in his ear, moving his hand gently.

Yamato could only close his eyes and whimper as Jyou worked his erection. He was ashamed of himself for becoming excited in the first place but this was almost too much. He felt his legs go underneath him and Jyou slowly lowered him onto the ground.

He moaned quietly shaking all over while Jyou held him against him. He kissed the side of Yamato's neck smiling against his skin every time Yamato sighed and moaned in pleasure.

"See, what did I tell you." Jyou said quietly in his ear at one point.

Yamato didn't responde but his mind cried at his weakness that he couldn't break away from Jyou. He couldn't just walk away and stay faithful to taichi from that point on. His body had betrayed him.

Soon he came making a mess of his jeans. Jyou chuckled and removed his hand from Yamato's pants as he trembled with conflicting emotions. Jyou stood up a smiled before walking away shaking the mess off his hand.

Yamato could only lie there head bowed completely ashamed of what he'd allowed his friend to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jyou

Jyou walked back to where he and Yamato had set up their camp. He'd thoroughly enjoyed controlling the blonde boy like he had. After that he'd had a ragging hard on himself. The entire experience had been delicious.

He recharged the fire until it was going nicely and sat down on his set of blankets to wait. He knew that after that Yamato would seek him out before long. The same had happened after their first makeout session. He'd avoided him for a while but had eventually approached Jyou again.

*Today and this situation should be no different.*

He paused in his thoughts for a moment unsure as to whether Yamato would approach him. He knew Yamato would be hesitant and try and restrain himself.

*But if I play this right he'll fall willingly into my arms...*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yamato(I'm being so mean to him...wonder why..)

He sat there shaking for the better part of an hour agonizing over what had happened. He couldn't even say to himself that he hadn't enjoyed it. In fact just thinking about what Jyou had done was exciting him again. He tried not to but his reaction seemed beyond his control.

*I'm sorry Taichi...I couldn't....it was.....*

The tension grew gradually and soon he admitted defeat. There was no getting around this and in fact Yamato wasn't sure he could...

*Snap out of it Yamato! Your not just gonna give up. You'll wait and not even look that....him. It's not so bad...not at all...*

He finally got up resolved to go back to the camp site and simply go to sleep. It had been a long day and he was tired. Though he tried not to think of why.

Jyou was sitting at camp eating some of the left overs from their work at the diner. Yamato sat down on his blankets across from him and refused to look up. Even though he could feel Jyou's eyes looking at him.

"Yamato.."Jyou said but Yamato didn't look up.

"Yamato....I don't think you can just ignore this." He said his voce light and untroubled.

It was the same tone he'd used before with out the frustration and anger in it. He sounded more smug now as if he knew Yamato would break.

Then despite himself he looked up and instantly wished he hadn't. Jyou was looking at him with smoldering black eyes. He smiled with satisfaction when the blonde looked at him obviously he'd seen what he'd wanted.

Yamato looked quickly back down but it was too late. He heard Jyou stand up and walk slowly to his side of the fire. He stopped next to him and knelt down behind him on the blankets.

Jyou wrapped his arms around Yamato's waist this time undoing his pants before reaching down farther. Yamato moaned at the touch and leaned his head back against Jyou's shoulder. The older boy pulled Yamato up until they were both on their knee's. Jyou pulled Yamato's pants down all the way and he shivered in the cold air. He heard the sound as Jyou pulled his pants down while slowly pushing Yamato onto his hands.

While he felt frightened he ignored the tremors of fear running down his spine. He didn't know what Jyou was planning, not really but he had a feeling Jyou was going to like it more then he would. He felt Jyou lean over him and gasped as he was invaded by Jyou's fingers. As realization dawned on him one thought once again repeated itself through his mind.

*I'm sorry Taichi...I'm so sorry...*

~~~~~~~~~~~~Still Mattykins

He lay next to Jyou on the blankets the older boy pressed close against his back. It had hurt. It had hurt a lot and he felt no better for it. Jyou seemed happy though but then he was always happy after doing something to him. Whether it had just been kissing or now...this.

He still hurt but in more ways then one. He didn't know if he could allow Jyou to do that again. It had hurt to much. His body ached and his soul cried. He'd want something like that to have been spacial something more then a rough tumble by the fire. Impersonal too. All he'd done was stare at the fire blankly and try not to sob with shame and pain.

*I can never tell him.*

The realization hurt but he knew Taichi would never understand how or why he'd put up no resistance. How he'd almost asked for every violent thrust. How he'd eventually began to enjoy the feelings that had coursed through his body.

Closing eyes against the tears that threatened he fell asleep hopping for this nightmare to be over soon or never to have happened.

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Well that was that. Just an epilogue now. Short and to the point. This might seem pointless but it's a lead up to a much longer fic that I'm dying to write. After Hope in Despair. And Onni san and Over for the Weekend and other such fics I'm writing that aren't anywhere near being done. Sept for Hope In Despair, that's almost done. Well anyway enjoy and look around for the last bit! R&RR&R&R&R&&R&R&R&&R&R! 


	4. The end of the begining or a crappy chap...

This is the last bit. I almost feel like apologising for the last chapter. It was pretty bad and..well strange to write. Ugh gave myself a creepy feeling the way i was writing Jyou. Oh well ya can't fig the idea's your mind comes up with when high on pop and cookies! Here's the last bit!

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Four boys sat around a camp fire and listened intently to taichi's explanation of what had happened to him. He was shocked to know how long it had been considering Takeru hadn't been able to tell him more then a *long* time. To him it had only been a day.

Afterwards they'd eaten and gone to sleep curling up into their blankets. Yamato lay there his thoughts circling while he cuddled his brother close. That was one thing he'd been happy about. Takeru had been okay.

*I almost wish Taichi wasn't.*

If taichi hadn't come back he wouldn't be lying here guilt ridden. He couldn't tell Taichi what had happened while he'd been in the real world. Just couldn't.

About an hour after they'd laid down to sleep Taichi got up and knelt beside Yamato, giving his shoulder a shake. He didn't want to move but looked up anyway. He knew what was coming. Taichi's wonderfully rich brown eyes smiled down on him and he tilted his head to the side.

"Come on, lets go somewhere else."He whispered as not to wake Jyou or Takeru up.

Yamato nodded and got up following Taichi past the light of the camp fire and into the nights gloom. He didn't want to be alone with taichi. He'd know something was wrong and ask him about it. But he couldn't tell him. He couldn't.

Once a safe distance away from the camp Taichi stopped and turned around quickly wrapping his arms around Yamato tightly.

"I missed you. Even if it was just a day or two I missed you!" He said into the taller boys shoulder.

Yamato had stiffened the minute Taichi's arms had wrapped themselves around him and he just couldn't make himself hug back. Taichi noticed the lack of returning affection and stepped back a frown on his face. Though he kept his arms around Yamato's waist.

"What's wrong? Yamato?" He asked looking a bit surprised at Yamato's standoffish behaviour.

Taichi tried to look him in the eyes but he quickly looked down and to the side. He wished he could walk away but Taichi had a death grip on his waist. His mind an around in circles trying to figure out a way out of this situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~Taichi

In the space of a few days Taichi had learned something about himself. He hated being away from Yamato. The quiet blonde had always been in the corner of his mind. When he got back he couldn't wait to find him again. Now he'd learned something else, he didn't like it when Yamato completely shut him out.

He'd sensed something was wrong with Yamato the minute he'd gotten back. He was quiet but that was normal. He just seemed unsure of himself and drifty, as if he was lost in his own thoughts.

So Taichi had gotten up and dragged Yamato out here to give him a proper greeting and to find out what was wrong. It worried him when Yamato didn't hug him back and when Yamato didn't answer his question and looked away Taichi became even more worried.

"Yamato what's wrong?"He asked quietly ducking his head down a little as to force Yamato to look at him.

He was shocked when Yamato jerked his head back and raised his arms pushing Taichi away. The wild haired brunette stepped back in surprise and looked at Yamato's back in hurt. The blonde walked a few feet away a shadowy figure in the half light from the moon.

*What is going on!*

Taichi thought as he stared at Yamato's stiff form.

*What happened to him? Why isn't he talking to me?*

Not being one to just give up Taichi walked forward again and wrapped his arms around Yamato. He rested his head against his shoulder. Yamato was trembling to his surprise and Taichi held him tighter. 

"Yama-chan," he started using his nickname for the boy which Yamato said was too childish and girlie to use.

"Please what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything."

Yamato just shook his head seemingly staring at his shoes. But when Taichi slid around to Yamato's front he saw that his eyes were tightly closed and a tell tale glimmer ran along their rims. He raised a hand and brushed away the tears confusion clouding his mind.

"Yama-kun," he said more serious this time.

"I don't understand why you wont tell me what's wrong but please don't brush me off like this without reason." he said holding Yamato's trembling body close to his.

The Yamato seemed to relent and quickly raised his arms and crushed Taichi to him sobbing into his shoulder. Taichi controlled his curiosity and held him offering what comfort he could. 

He held Yamato for he knew not how long but eventually they ended up with him sitting in the grass, Yamato's head cradled in his lap. Whiled he'd stopped crying and was responding again to Taichi's being there he wasn't talking. Taichi wasn't about to force him to either. He just sat there stroking back Yamato's hair while he looked up at Taichi with sad eyes.

"Taichi?" He said, speaking for the first time.

"Yes Koi?" Taichi answered giving Yamato a gentle smile.

"I'm sorry." He said looking at Taichi as if his heart would break.

Taichi blinked back unsure of what Yamato could possibly have to be sorry about. He didn't speak for a while. Somehow he knew if he was to except this strange apology he'd have to mean it. He was also sure he'd never find out what it was Yamato was apologising for.

*Whatever it is I don't care.*

He thought determinedly. He leaned down and kissed Yamato gently on the lips. As he leaned back he saw the slight glimmer of hope in Yamato's eyes.

"It's okay Yamato." He said solemnly and was rewarded by a faint smile.

Taichi just hoped he'd get a real smile out of him soon.

"Ashiteru...." Yamato mumbled from his lap.

His eyes had closed and he was apparently falling asleep. Taichi smiled and continued to stroke his silky hair and watched over his sleeping love as he slept.

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That all folks. Yuppers that's all that happens!Nothing resolved! I probably wont get to the next fic until sometime near the end of the month. Ya know finals and all that crap. Plus I'm trying to finish up with the fics i got up right now before I start any new ones. I hope you all liked this fic. It's my first idea if not my first written fic. PLEASE R&R&R&R&R&R&&R&R&R&R&R&R&R! 


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